Technology is a pain in the ass
by whatamidoing765
Summary: What would happen if you gave DW characters a computer?


**Wei**

**Cao Cao:"Yes! Got ya, OneeyeDun9876 and Iceprince2087! I shall proceed in teabagging you."**

**Cao Pi: "This is boring...Oh...TheBossCC killed me...And is doing a very obscene act on me..."**

**Xiahou Dun: Breaks the computer in a rage because someone killed him in a shooter game.**

**Xiahou Yuan: He finds out there are more people better at archery than him. **

**Cao Ren: He looks up ways on better defensive techniques. Gets into Gundam and Hello Kitty.**

**Guo Jia: Finds the girl-on-girl and porn stuff, and spends the day in his office. **

**Zhang He: Watches tutorials on how to do certain hairstyles. Gets into Jenna Marbles and Beyonce.**

**Jia Xiu: Keeps losing to the computer in Solitaire and chess. **

**Xu Chu: He eats the frickin' thing! Pukes a chunky and circuity mess.**

**Dian Wei: He breaks it when he presses the on button too hard.**

**Zhang Liao, Xu Huang: Both order "Reaching True Might for Dummies." Also watching Fist of the North Star and the Walking Dead.**

**Zhen Ji: Looks at all of the beauty trends of today. Looks for any juicy rumors on the other women.**

**Cai Wenji: Finds out about Mozart and Beetoven. She also finds lots of "explict music."**

**Wang Yi: Looks up ways to kill someone with anything and anywhere. Orders all possible weapons. She watches horses dying in videos.**

**Li Dian: Plays Akinator and acts really amazed when he guess all of them right.**

**Yue Jin: Tries to play QWOP. Acts depressed when he lost the first time.**

**Yu Jin: Dismisses it as junk and throws it.**

**Pang De: He drops it. From his height, it'll break in half before he can go down to catch it.**

**Wu**

**Sun Jian: His wallpaper is a nice Bengal tiger family.**

**Sun Ce:"Who keeps on killing me with the ballistic knife?"**

**Sun Quan: He accidentally finds hentai of Lian Shi. **

**Sun Shang Xiang: Plays a shooter using a male avatar. Always kicking other players' butts.**

**Huang Gai: Buys a year's supply of protein powder and a Bowflex. Posts pictures of himself flexing his muscules.**

**Han Dang: "Remember me." He clicks on the box that says "Remember me" when you type in passwords in places.**

** Zhou Yu: Throws the computer out the window when he loses multiple matches in chess to the computer.**

**Gan Ning: Watches pirated movies that involve pirates killing pirates.**

**Ling Tong: Gets his computer taken by Gan Ning and has viruses installed into it. **

**Lu Xun: Watches people burn things on YouTube.**

**Taishi Ci: "AWW! Stop killing me, SunPrincess18!"**

**Lu Su: Constantly pokes Zhou Yu and Lu Meng on Facebook. **

**Lian Shi: Plays the shooter with SSX. **

**Xiao Qiao: Spills liquids on the computer.**

**Da Qiao: Gives hers to Xiao Qiao when she breaks hers.**

**Zhou Tai: "What is this..?" He slices it in half.**

**Ding Feng: Writes poetry and posts on his Tumblr and Facebook page.**

**Lu Meng: Is very impressed with Wikipedia.**

**Shu**

**Zhao Yun: "I'm out of ammo! Hey! Aw! You had to teabag me, huh, Iceprince2087?!" **

**Zhang Fei: Spills wine and pukes on it.**

**Guan Yu: "I don't need such lavish gifts."**

**Zhuge Liang: Is fine until he finds the Zhuge LiangXSima Yi. "HELL. NO." He then strikes lightning onto the computer, turning it to dust. **

**Yue Ying: She takes the computer apart to see how it works. **

**Liu Bei:"No! My comrades have been defeated! Who ever you are, I will find you, TheBossCC!" **

**Ma Chao: "JUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSTTTTTTTICE! Got you PainterMD!" **

**Ma Dai: "Aw, I lost. Well, I'll just go and sit here until someone comes."**

**Guan Ping: "Cover me! *BRATTATAT* Aw! Who killed me?"**

**Guan Suo: "Whoops...I left GuanP236 behind... Hey! Who tomahawked me?!"**

**Guan Xing: "Where are you? Aw, you died! And...*BOOM*... someone killed me with a grenade..."**

**Guan Yinping: "Yay! I won! Take that GuanP236, Flowerguy12, FkyhZBao4 and wingsofjustice789!"**

**Bao Sanniang: Cat pictures and Nyan Cat.**

**Zhang Bao: "Man, Girlthatcankickyourbutt890 is good..."**

**Xing Cai: Gets hooked on the shooter everyone's been talking about. "Yes! Take that, BOWMASTER79 and Beastdragon809!"**

**Liu Shan: Spends days and nights online doing who knows what.**

**Wei Yan: "GRR...Damn...XCaiX793.."**

**Huang Zhong: "Damn these youngsters using dirty tricks on me!" **

**Jiang Wei: Defends Zhuge Liang on the hater forums for him.**

**Pang Tong: Doesn't even bother to take the computer out of the box.**

**Xu Shu: Gets depressed when he lost the match and someone called him "noob."**

**Jin**

**Sima Yi: For a moment he seemed to like the thing. But when he found the Sima YiXZhuge Liang and Sima YiXCao Pi stuff, he steps on it multiple times and throws the remains in the pond.**

**Sima Shi: "Damn you, Zzzzz89! Oh, teabagging! VERY mature!"**

**Sima Zhao: "Ha! That's what you get for camping, destiny217!"**

**Zhang Chunhua: Somehow got to read Fifty Shades of Grey. Doesn't seem to bother her AT ALL.**

**Wang Yuanji: Gets into those Asian romance dramas. **

**Zhong Hui: "Huh? A compooper? What a strange name... "Hmph, you people wish to be as popular? Those stupid photos of yourselves are just making you uglier." He then gets into a flame war on Facebook.**

**Jia Chong: "Hmm? What is this? I don't need such machines." After a few hours, he has already finished half of Kuroshitsuji. **

**Guo Huai: He looks up his condition at WebMD, the site says he has "throat cancer."**

**Wen Yang: "I shall be the greatest warrior in this strange device!" Five minutes later... "...It seems Zzzzz89 strives to be the best as well. I shall follow his example! But he keeps on killing me."**

**Zhuge Dan: "Damn you, Zzzzz89! You keep on tomahawking me!" He throws the computer onto the wall.**

**Xiahou Ba: "How to get taller" was in his history. Along with Full Metal Alchemist episodes.**

**Deng Ai: The keyboard breaks after fifty taps from his meaty fingers.**

**Other**

**Lu Bu: The computer breaks for just being in his hands.**

**Diao Chan: Becomes that annoying Facebook girl that updates constantly and talks about her boyfriend. **

**Meng Huo: An elephant steps on it and breaks it.**

**Zhu Rong: Her tigers eat it. Then they puke electronic parts. **

**Dong Zhou: It was left on his seat and his fat-ass crushes it.**

**Zuo Ci: "This is dangerous...I cannot let it in-..it's already in their hands..."**

**Yuan Shao: "Hmph. What is this game?" He gets mad for losing in Solitaire multiple times to the computer.**

**Zhang Jiao: "Accept the will of the Heavens!"**


End file.
